


Dreaming Spires

by Hekate1308



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Professors, M/M, Professor Hathaway, Professor Lewis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 21:43:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: Everyone, it seemed, knew Robert "Call me Robbie Lewis" in Oxford. At least that was the impression James got during his long and extended studies concerning the Dead Sea Scrolls.And then he became a fellow associate of Lonsdale College himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My very first Lewis/Hathaway fic, and my first Lewis AU. Enjoy!

Everyone, it seemed, knew Robert _Call me Robbie_ Lewis in Oxford.

At least that was the impression James got during his long and extended studies concerning the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The man’s area of expertise wasn’t even history or religious studies – his publications proved that he’d mostly written about criminology and criminal justice, as behoved a professor of exactly these topics – and yet he kept cropping up in most Oxford literature.

_I wish to extend special thanks to Professor Robert Lewis, who advised me on numerous topics._

_I would go amiss if I didn’t express my gratitude towards my old friend Robbie Lewis. Thanks for “dragging me back down to the ground so us normal people can understand me” as you would put it._

_It would have been impossible to finish this book without the encouragement of Professor Robert Lewis, whose encouragement kept me going through many long days._

James didn’t even notice at first, but eventually he realized the man was everywhere. What was it about Robert Lewis that made everyone who’d ever met him want to thank him?

Eventually, he moved on from the project and forgot about Robert Lewis, Professor of Criminology and Criminal Justice at Lonsdale College.

Until he became a fellow associate of Lonsdale College himself.

Him applying for the position had been more a spur of the moment than anything; and so it would have been an understatement to say he was surprised when he was actually offered the job. His sister only shook her head.

“Your work about the dead scrolls has attracted quite a bit of attention. Of course they want you.”

It was probably a good thing he had ended up in Oxford and not returned to Cambridge, he reflected while packing. Too many painful memories had been made there.

The porter who greeted him on his first day was young and energetic; he introduced himself as Gurdip and enthusiastically shook his hand.

“An honour to have you here, sir.”

“Thank you, but that’s really not – “

“They say Professor Lewis was very impressed with your work, and that hasn’t happened in a while,  although he’d never admit it, of course.”

And that was how James Hathaway was reminded of Robert Lewis’ existence.

His rooms at the college were airy and comfortable enough; and as someone who’d never truly felt at home anywhere, he decided he could spend a few years here quite well.

The Vice-Chancellor Jean Innocent was friendly enough to drop in as he was unpacking. “James Hathaway, I presume.”

“Ma’am.”

“Settling in well?”

He nodded.

“If you have time, I’d like to show you around... Let’s say in an hour?”

It suited him just fine.

Exactly at the appointed time, she appeared at his door again, ready to show him his new place of work.

He’d never been to oxford before, but he’d heard stories, of course. Every student did, especially if they happened to study at Cambridge. It was quite as beautiful as the pictures had always shown it to be.

“Professor Pinock is eager to meet you” she told him. “Although I should warn you; there’s some bad blood about your recent studied on the question of theodicy.”

He chuckled, deeming this the appropriate response. “i do hope there will be no blood.”

“You’d be surprised; it’s happened before.”

He wasn’t quite sure if she was joking.

They were walking across the court when the Vice-Chancellor said, “Oh, there he is. I was starting to wonder; he’s usually around at this time of the day.”

He turned his head slightly to find a middle-aged man he remembered vaguely from the backs of book covers talking to a girl, presumably one of his students. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt –“

“Oh, I’d say he’d be more upset about passing up the chance to meet you. He’s somewhat of a local celebrity around here, you know.”

He still felt rather reluctant about interrupting the lively discussion he was witnessing, but it couldn’t be helped. Innocent stepped up to Professor Lewis and touched his arm. “Robbie, just a minute...”

The man turned his head, and James was treated to twinkling green eyes that belied his age. “Ah, Professor Hathaway. Of course. Mallory, would you excuse me? We can resume our discussion tomorrow.”

“Of course, Professor.”

James had met a few professors in his time who called their students by their first names and had always thought it sounded slightly pretentious and derogatory, a bit too jovial for his liking; but in professor Lewis’ case, it seemed to be genuinely friendly, and if Mallory’s body language was anything to go by, she didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least.

“Very smart girl, that” he explained after she’d left them, “I have to be careful or she’ll be giving me a run for my money next.”

He’d read somewhere that Lewis had originally hailed from Newcastle, but he wouldn’t have expected to still be able to hear it after decades at an Oxford university.

Lewis held out his hand. “Glad to have you here, lad.”

Again, to his own surprise, James didn’t think that he sounded condescending like so many others who’d pointed out his youth when he’d first started out. Lewis grip was warm and reassuring. “Glad to be here.”

“if you need anything, just come knocking. I live up the next stairway.”

“Will do.”

He nodded, smiling. “Sorry, have to go – a lecture coming up.”

“Of course.”

After he’d left, Innocent said, “He means that, you know. And in case you need anything, you’d be better off with him than me – anything he doesn’t know about our Lonsdale isn’t worth knowing.”

* * *

 

That evening, he was listening to Schubert when there was a knock on his door. He certainly didn’t expect anyone – Nell was going to visit later in the month, and he didn’t have any old friends in Oxford.

He was surprised to see Robbie Lewis, holding up a bottle of wine. “Thought I would drop in and welcome you properly, after I was busy this afternoon.”

“You didn’t have to, Professor.”

Lewis waved a hand in the air, dismissing his protests. “Call me Robbie” he said, proving there was a good reason for his nickname. “You got your glasses unpacked already or should I get mine?”

They ended up sitting on his sofa and chatting while sipping the wine. “You have everything you need?”

James nodded. “Thank you again for your kind offer –“

“Please. My Val would never have forgiven me if I didn’t look after a young lad on his first big day in Oxford.”

“Your wife?”

He nodded. “She passed away two years ago – hit and run.” A shadow passed across his face as he spoke of it.

“I’m very sorry.”

James had never been adept at comforting people, which really should have clued him in early on that he had never been meant to become a priest.

“Like I said, it was two years ago.” Lewis’ eyes softened.  “Although it doesn’t feel like it, sometimes.”

“Do you have children?” James asked, supposing that this was what people would inquire in this situation.

Seriously, he would never have been the kind of priest people called to help them after a bereavement.

“Aye. Two of them. Me daughter’s a doctor up in Newcastle, our boy’s an associate at Sydney’s.”

“Australia?”

“Wanted to see the world, he said.”

James guessed he could see the appeal, but there was appeal to an evening like this, too.

Eventually, Robbie asked him about his studies. “I should warn you, Professor Pinock is up in arms.”

“The Vice-Chancellor told me.”

“Mind, it was somewhat entertaining watching her tear through the place because of your latest article... Oh well, buy her a pint and she’ll forgive you anything.”

“You’ve known her for long?”

“Ever since I came down here from Newcastle with Val and the dreams of making it in the academic world.”

“I’d say you did it” he replied, remembering the countless mentions of Lewis in literature.

He chuckled. “I guess. Mind, there will always be those who don’t want a lowly Northerner desecrating their holy halls – but then, you’d know all about that.”

“I’m afraid I am committing sacrilege myself, since I studied at Cambridge.”

“Heard about that. Gurlip is quite the talker, but he’s a really good chap.”

“Has he been gossiping about me already?” James asked, alarmed.

“Only that you seem to be a decent sort of fellow, and I have to agree. Don’t worry, the tongues will wag for a while because you’re new, but then they’ll just accept you as part of the team.”

They finally called it quits shortly before midnight. “Good night, James. See you around.” Robbie’s hand lingered on his arm for a second. “This was nice.”

He could only nod.

He washed out the glasses, remembering the evening, Robbie’ laugh, the way he’d downplayed his own accomplishments, not out of false humility, but because of genuine modesty.

He’d heard about Robert _Call me Robbie_ Lewis before.

But no one had told him he would be so... captivating.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few weeks, James encountered many other members of the college. None were as welcoming as Prof- as Robbie had been, but then, that was hardly surprising.

Professor Pinock cornered him on his second day. What followed was a lengthy discussion that wasn’t without its merits, but terrified James nonetheless; it made him rather glad he’d missed her dramatic first reaction that Robbie had described.

After she’d left him – he felt still victorious, but rather in need of a pint – a blonde woman stepped up to him. “That was quite a show. Laura Hobson, Dean of medicine.”

“James Hathaway.”

She nodded. “Robbie told me about you.”

“He brought me a bottle of wine.”

“Sounds just like him... although, once you get to know him better and he’s not ashamed of his Newcastle roots anymore, it’s more likely going to be beer. Lunch?”

He agreed even though he found it difficult to imagine Robbie Lewis being ashamed of anything.

They ended up in a comfortable pub not far from college. “How do you like Oxford so far?”

“It seems... inhabitable” he replied carefully.

She threw her head back and laughed. “Robbie was right about you.”

She didn’t elaborate, and he didn’t know how to ask.

“So, what did you move away from?” she asked suddenly, and he stared at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry, Robbie would never gossip about anyone like that, of course, but he did mention that it seemed like you hadn’t known you’d end up in Oxford before you applied here. And usually that means people don’t move so much to Oxford as away from somewhere else.”

“I...” the answer to that was as difficult to explain as it was for James himself to understand. What exactly had he moved away from? The indecision of what exactly to do with his degree and his life? Half-buried memories of his parents’ fighting? A certain feeling of uneasiness he hadn’t been able to find the cause of?

Professor Hobson’s eyes softened. “You’ll find life in Lonsdale comfortable, don’t worry. And Robbie said you were smart, and when he does, he means it.”

She spoke of Robbie Lewis so often that James couldn’t help but suspect there might be something more between them than pure friendship, and why shouldn’t there be? They had known each other for years, and Lewis was a widower. He was allowed to fall in love again.

Unlike James, who had tried it once – he still thought of Scarlet now and then, he couldn’t help it – and decided that he was better off alone.

* * *

 

But exactly that – being alone – turned out not to be the case.

First of all, there was Robbie.

Despite being a professor himself, despite his courses being inevitably full, despite loving books as much as any Oxford don did, Robbie Lewis was of the firm opinion that “young people should go out and have fun while they still can” and James was regularly dragged to “outings” so he could “learn the Oxford ways.”

To his surprise, he didn’t mind. Robbie was excellent company, friendly and clever, and even funny. Laura Hobson and even Jean Innocent now and then accompanied them as well.

It soon became known in the college that “Lewis had taken the new one under his wing” and that seemed to be enough of a recommendation for the others to try and befriend James if they could.

Robbie Lewis’ approval seemed to be the entry to a golden world in Lonsdale.

And, really, it was a small wonder. Even the students, James soon came to know, adored him.

“Not a bad effort, not at all” he was encouraging a young student one day. The lad was younger than James could ever remember being, nineteen, and needed to be treated kindly – he was somewhat jumpy and nervous, a shy introvert.

Now that feeling James could remember. “You’ll do very well if you just concentrate a bit more on your citations... that said, where did you come across the old Babylonian execution methods? I admit I was impressed.”

“I asked Professor Lewis” he confided, “He’s always so nice and he helped me immediately.”

It sounded just like Robbie to drop everything to help a young man desperate for approval. James smiled. 

* * *

All in all, Laura had been right – apart from the occasional sparing match with Professor Pinock, life was very comfortable at Lonsdale; and James might even have thought himself completely happy if – if –

If he hadn’t learned something about himself in a rather abrupt fashion.

Robbie had been gushing for weeks about his daughter coming to visit him. For some reason, James had felt nervous whenever he mentioned introducing him to Lyn, but had thought it were just the usual nerves at having to meet someone he hadn’t known before.

And really, when Lyn arrived, happy, healthy and radiant, she was as friendly, as welcoming, if not as obviously Geordie, as her father. “You must be James! I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I can only repeat the compliment” he said, shaking her hand.

“And my, every bit as polite as Dad said you were.”

He hoped he wasn’t blushing, but the chances weren’t in his favour.

Robbie was obviously very proud of his daughter and made sure she and James sat together during the dinner he gave in honour of one of his children returning home the next night, and a suspicion that they might have been set up would have occurred to him, only that it soon transpired that Lyn was happy with her partner of many years and that they were thinking about having children.

“Actually..:” she trailed off, her gaze wandering to her father, who was laughing at something Laura Hobson had said. “You don’t think – I mean normally i wouldn’t ask but it’s pretty clear you’ve become very good friends – you don’t think Dad might be ready to retire and move up to Manchester, do you?”

“I – I wouldn’t know” he stammered. “We don’t talk of such things.”

“Of course not. Forgive me. I didn’t mean to put you in  this position, it’s just... sometimes I’m worried about Dad. He’s been doing this a long time, and I know he loves it, but he’s not getting any younger.”

“He’s not that old” James argued. Only twenty-seven years older than him, in fact, as he had calculated one night, and what did that matter? Sure, it was the quarter of a century, but it hardly made Robbie an old man.

“I guess not. Maybe it’s just a shock for children to learn that one day their parents will age to a point where –“ she stopped talking. “You know what I mean.”

He nodded, remembering his mother, dying too young for him to feel that way, and his father, who had slipped out of his grasp years ago.

They talked of lighter subjects. 

* * *

 

After dinner, Robbie invited James and Laure to a nightcap while Lyn retired.

“So, now that we are amongst ourselves... did me daughter talk about retirement?”

James spat his drink.

“Robbie” Laura scolded him gently, “You can’t just ask him that. There’s such a thing as confidential talks, you know –“

“It’s me daughter and me best mate talking about me! I have every right to know what they said!”

“She did indeed mention retirement” James said carefully, “But she’s leaving it up to you.”

He was contemplating why he himself cared very much for Robbie’s answer. Even if he retired and moved aw<, that didn’t have to mean that they couldn’t still be friends; and as he had thought before, he wasn’t that old yet –

He suddenly realized that no one had ever called him his best mate before.

“At least that’s something” Robbie said with satisfaction.

Laura snorted and lightly shoved him. “Your daughter only wants what is best for you.”

“I know that, but I have you two watching me back, haven’t I.”

“He’s right about us watching out for him” Laura said as she and James walked back to their respective quarters. “Lyn is probably over the moon that Robbie decided to adopt you so you can keep an eye on him.”

For some reason, that statement made a wave of revulsion swell in James’ chest. Really, why? Being Robbie’s son would have been an un-looked for honour.

She seemed to sense he didn’t want to talk and, aside from a  short “Good night, James” stayed quiet.

In his rooms that night, James kept wondering why the thought of being Robbie’s son depressed him. It was clear the other professor has been a far superior parent than either of his, so why –

His thoughts trailed away from the subject and centred on how good Robbie had looked tonight, the animation in his face betraying his age, the light blue shirt James always thought looked the best on him accentuation his eyes –

He let himself fall on the bed when the truth hit him.

The reason he couldn’t imagine being Robbie Lewis’ son as that he wanted to be bound to Robbie Lewis in quite a different way.

A very different way.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The very first – and only time, until now – he had experienced love, it had been like a fever, frenzied and inescapable, throwing itself over him in one quick swoop. Scarlet had seemed the most beautiful woman in the world to him; he’d wanted to spend all his time with her; life had only been worth living when he was with her.

What he felt for Robbie was nothing like that, and yet indefinitely more real, and, as he came to fear after a few weeks of trying to fight his emotions, lasting.

Lewis hadn’t just drawn him in like a moth to a flame. Lewis had offered a lonely man companionship and friendship, and James couldn’t say when it had become more on his part. When had to become the nest part of his day to hear Robbie wish him good morning, when had he begun to eye him and Laura Hobson carefully to ensure his first guess concerning them was wrong?

Not that it would have mattered if it wasn’t. Robbie knew nothing of his feelings, and he never would,. And even if he did... if he did... No. James couldn’t allow himself to dwell on the impossible. Robbie would never want him like that.

But still – this didn’t mean James was left with nothing.

He was left with the pleasure of his company, and his warm friendship, and it would be enough because it had to be.

“Good morning” Robbie said cheerfully one day, falling in step beside him as always, “Have you met the new member?”

Of course he already had, had probably known sooner about them than anyone else at Lonsdale. Sometimes, James could have sworn he was mentally linked to the old stone buildings. “No.”

“Fiona McKendrick. Mathematician. Quite clever.”

He couldn’t help but feel that, according to the tense tone in Lewis’ voice, he didn’t feel quite as comfortable in her presence as he made out to be; and then, “Quite clever” had never really been a compliment from him, considering, as he always said “At an university in Oxford, you’d better be, lad”.

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure yet. I’ll probably meet her at lunch.”

With that, all discussion of the new colleague was dropped, until exactly the time James had predicted.

Fiona McKendrick was, he had to admit, what Lewis had been – quite clever. She was also an amusing companion for half an hour, but he didn’t think he’d like to spend much more time with her.

Not when it could be spent with his students (or Robbie, his treacherous mind whispered, but he paid no attention).

She seemed to settle in well, but then, one or two months into her first term, she began searching James out in the way he only really cared for if Robbie did it or vice versa.

Still, he was nothing if not polite, and so he had to give up his lunch hour that could have been spent much more pleasantly more than once. As he had thought, she was even funny and charming when she could be, and he heard nothing but the best about her from his students; but he missed the hearty warmth of Robbie Or Laura or even Gurdip when talking to her.

And then came the evening she’d all but forced him into going to the opera with her and he had to decline Robbie’s invitation for a pint and a chat.

His face fell. “Quite alright, James.”

He’s stopped calling him “lad” a few weeks before, and James didn’t know if he should be glad for it or miss it. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I have another engagement –“

“With Fiona McKendrick, UI presume” he spat, an expression on his face James had never seen there before; he quickly recovered himself and continued, “Quite right. I mean, you’re only young once, you should hang out with the other young people.”

James couldn’t agree; he’d much rather have spent the evening with Robbie, at least getting a taste of what could never truly be, instead of listening to Wagner with Fiona. He’d never been a Wagnerian.

It was during the interim that she slowly began, “James, I have been thinking.”

“Hardly a surprise, considering our place of work” he drawled, earning himself an unimpressed raised eyebrow.

“That’s not what I meant.”

She took his hand; he tried to disentangle himself. “Oh, James, stop it. I am not offering any grand romance.”

“What then?”

“You don’t realize the reputation you are acquiring, do you? You’re considered quite the prodigy on your field, as I am on mine.”

“I see” he said slowly.

“Yes. Everyone knows that many Oxford don marriages end up unhappy, so why not cut the romance out of it altogether? We’d be a good team, and we could achieve much.”

“I have no doubt of it” he said drily, firmly wrenching back his hand, “But I am afraid ambition is not one of my virtues – if I had any to begin with; and I doubt we could make each other very happy.”

“It’s that why you’re desperately thirsting after someone you could never –“ she broke off. “Forgive me. That was cruel and uncalled for.”

“So everyone knows?” he asked as calmly as he could.

She shook her head. “No, and I won’t tell anyone. You have my word. I think I only noticed because I have been after you for quite some time.” She smiled weakly. “Should have known I didn’t stand a chance, really.”

He shrugged. “You might have, if not for...” his smile was equally weak, he was sure.

She laughed. “Can’t blame a girl for trying, can you. I’m sorry if I crossed a line. Friends?”

“Friends” he confirmed, shaking her hand.

* * *

 

While it was a relief to be free of Fiona’s attentions, he soon learned that their effect would be rather discomforting.

Within three days, he’d realized that Robbie was avoiding him. In a polite, even friendly way of course, as was his want; but avoiding him nonetheless.

After a few more days of him being firmly evasive James resigned himself to the fact that Fiona must have been wrong when she assumed no one else knew about how he felt. Clearly, Robbie had noticed or someone had told him; and this was his way of letting him down easy.

James couldn’t help but notice how empty his evening suddenly were, or how much he missed simply talking to the man; how often had they discussed some unimportant thing that had become a source of comfort simply because Robbie was the one he was discussing it with?

Now, there was little for him to do but to focus on work, and yes, still spending time with Fiona because, when she wasn’t focused on he3r career, she could actually be a good friend.

He would have liked to see more of Laura, but his impression – although only from afar, these days – was that she and Robbie were continually growing closer, and it was more than he could bear.

He did what he had always done when he hadn’t been able to cope.

He buried himself in his books, while Robbie continued his own life as the beloved professor everyone knew and admired.

And so things would have continued if not for one very decided Dean of Medicine.

James was working on an apocryphal translation one evening when her firm knock sounded on his door.

When he opened it, she stormed in, a murderous expression on her face. “That’s it. If I have to live through another evening of Robbie pitying himself, so help me God...”

James could only stare at her. It was difficult to imagine Robbie pitying himself at all, let alone long enough for Laura to have had enough. “What –“

“You two, I swear! If you could just open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you but no, you have to suffer from a distance, and I’m caught in the crossfire!” she ranted, walking up and down his living room.

“I’m rather sure no one’s been firing –“ he tried to interject,

“Shouldn’t you of all people recognize a metaphor? I’m supposed to be the extremely cautious one, you know.”

“Laura” he pleaded “Tell me what’s going on.”

Her eyes softened. “Sorry. I just – it’s difficult not to be protective of him, after everything that happened with Val. He was devastated. And i never want to see that look on his face again, have I made myself clear?”

James didn’t quite understand how he could possibly responsible for that, but nodded.

“Good. Because you are coming with me.”

He had no other choice but to let her march him to Robbie’s rooms. “Laura –“

“Hush now, I am clearing the air”.

She knocked on the door. As soon as it opened, she all but pushed James inside. “You two need to talk. I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.”

He almost lost his footing, but managed to catch himself, standing up to look in Robbie’s confused face.

 


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m very sorry about this“ he began to apologize as soon as the door closed behind him,“ I’ll just wait a few minutes and then leave, she’ll hardly be standing guard outside…“

Robbie snorted. “You don’t know Laura as well as I do. In that case you might be right, though.” He sighed. “James, I’m very sorry. This is all my fault.”

“It isn’t” he argued, “You have every right to spend your free time how and with whoever you want –“

“That’s just the trouble, aye. What I want... I shouldn’t want in the first place.”

James frowned. Surely Laura wouldn’t simply reject him and then demand James pick up the broken pieces of Robbie’s heart? It seemed unnaturally cruel to both of them.

“But Laura’s right, I owe you an explanation.” Lewis sighed. “Fancy a cuppa?”

“No offense but I think we’d do better with something stronger.”

Robbie nodded, and ten minutes later, they were sitting on the sofa, sipping whiskey.

“I suppose I should –“ he sighed again. “James, it’s never come up before – do you speak German?”

“Some” he answered, hesitantly, “But mostly in relation to my subject –“

“That’s a “I can discuss theology but I can’t ask the way then”, no offense.”

“None taken.”

“I took it in school. May point is... The Germans, they have an expression for what... I’ve been experiencing. It’s called _zweiter Frühling_ – second spring.”

James frowned. “I rather thing there’d be a third or fourth spring, as well.”

Robbie shook his head. “No. That’s not what it means. It’s when – when an older man who should be past such things by now develops – romantic feelings for someone else. And usually that someone else is quite a bit younger, hence the “second spring” part.”

“I see” James answered, even though he didn’t se at all. Was Robbie telling him that he had feelings for Fiona, and that he had been jealous of him, of all people?

“I have to be more blunt, then. James... you don’t know what you do to me, do you? For the longest time I tried to tell myself we were just friends, or that what IU felt for you was fatherly, but then you and Fiona McKendrick started going out together and I realized that was far from true.”

“Me and Fiona were never together” he said, his mind reeling. Robbie didn’t mean – Robbie couldn’t mean –

“That’s what Laura tried to tell me, but honestly, I’m more worried that you haven’t answered. If you’re shocked or disgusted, you can tell me. I’m a grown man. I won’t –“

“Disgusted isn’t the word I’d use” he said carefully, now that he was slowly beginning to understand that, in fact, he was Robbie’s first choice. “Delighted. Incredulous. Elated. I am still processing everything, but if we’re being honest, those are my first –“

“Elated? So you –“

“But of course, Robbie” he said gently. “I was starting to think everyone knew.”

“No wonder Laura called us blind” he mused. “The question is, what now? Do you want to try and...” he waved a hand between them.

“Yes” he replied without hesitation. “The question is, do you –“

“I won’t lie to you, James. You’re important to me; very important. But you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and here I am, an old widower who just realized he must be bisexual after all, and – well, it’s not quite so easy for me to say.”

“I can wait” he said firmly.

“But for how long, James? It would be unfair to –“ Robbie stopped talking and looked at him. “On the other hand, I could at least –“ He reached out and cradled James’ face in his hands.” May I kiss you?”

“Of course” he breathed.

It turned out Robbie was a very enthusiastic learner, and that he even surprised himself when it came to accept certain revelations about himself.

The knock on the door the next morning during their private breakfast wasn’t unexpected.

Robbie let Laura in.

“Neither of you had breakfast, and this is either a very good sign or I have to apologize profusely –“ She stopped talking when she saw James sitting on the table in the clothes he had worn yesterday, then grinned. “And I thought students were supposed to do the walk of shame.”

“Laura!”

She only laughed.

* * *

 

They took things slowly, and yet their relationship progressed as the week went on. At first, they asked Laura to keep things secret, but that didn’t stop from Gurdip eyeing them when they returned from their dates in town and winking, or from Fiona telling James one day, “I am glad you got what you wanted”, her eyes sparkling, so he kept wondering if they were more obvious than they let on.

“Robbie” he said one day, “I am not sure we can keep this a secret any longer.”

“What gave it away? Gurdip enthusiastically telling us about his gay cousin’s wedding last week? I mean, it’s a nit soon, but I wouldn’t mind down the line –“

“That’s not what I –“ he began, blushing scarlet, although he couldn’t help but think that to be married to Robbie would be a wonderful thing.

“Don’t look at me like that, love. I’m tired of all the secrecy anyway. How about this? We don’t make any grand announcements, but we don’t hide and we don’t lie if someone asks, either. Let them figure it out for themselves.”

James agreed that this was the best possible way.

* * *

 

To say that the students were flabbergasted when they learned of their new relationship – and it had only been a matter of time, after all, what was more fun than gossiping about one’s tutors? – would have been an understatement. At least there was precious little hostility; in fact, many seemed completely awed by the fact that professor Robbie Lewis of all people, he who had been the protégé of the still missed Professor Morse, should dare walk hand-in-hand to breakfast with another professor, and two decades younger than him at that.

The first time James saw two boys walk side by side to their lectures, holding hands, he felt like crying.

* * *

 

“Only shame is, I can hardly now go to the Pride Parade as a straight ally, can I” he mused one evening as they were relaxing on the couch.

James, who had been dozing off, his head on Robbie’s shoulder, looked up. “You went to pride day?”

“Sure, I had to support me students, didn’t.”

James kissed him. “I love you.”

“Aye, love you too.”

Only later did he realize it was the first time they’d said it out loud.

* * *

 

Innocent had simply shaken her head when they told her. “My God, Robbie, why do you always have to go the way of most resistance?”

“I like to think it’s got something to do with me accent, Ma’am.”

“Oh hush” she mumbled, rubbing her forehead; but there was hint of a smile on her face. “As long as I don’t have to deal with a messy divorce somewhere down the line...”

“Not planning on it” Robbie confirmed, and James gave him a brilliant smile.

* * *

 

It was quite a different thing to meet the daughter of his friend or the children of his boyfriend – or “partner” as Robbie preferred, since, “Neither of us are boys, are we, man!” – James soon learned when upon hearing the news both Lyn and Mark decided to visit for Robbie’s birthday.

He’d geared how they’d react, but Lyn immediately hugged him, than shook her head. “And I asked you what you thought about Dad retiring. And you already had your cap set on him!”

“Lyn” Robbie chastised her, “That’s not how the young folk talk nowadays. I should know –“

“Since you’re dating own?”

James paled, but she only laughed. “I am sorry I couldn’t resist. So, what’s for dinner?”

Mark was a bit more cautious. “So you and Dad, hm? Have to say, I was a little surprised.”

“You’re not the only one” James admitted. Sometimes, he still couldn’t quite believe that Robbie had chosen him on all people.

“that’s not what I –“ Mark chuckled. “And Lyn was right again. Here I was worried about my Dad’s new cradle-snatching tendencies, and you’re so smitten with him it’s not even funny.”

“If I’m the cradle snatcher, does that make James a grave robber?” Robbie inquired from behind them, and Mark jumped. “Dear God, Dad!”

“Just telling the truth.”

“What family did I let myself get drawn into” James simply said.

“Oh don’t worry” Mark decided “You’ll fit right in." 

* * *

 

Everyone in Oxford new Robert _Call me Robbie_ Lewis, and so it wasn’t long before the news spread.

Really, it didn’t make much of a difference; Robbie was still as revered as always.

But now, right after people spoke of him, they said, _You know he found a new partner? I heard he’s quite charming._

And for the first time, James didn’t mind people talking about him.

 


End file.
